A friend of mine found this pair of poems in a book on Comm Skills. You'll probably know the first, but the second is obviously inspired by the government's views on how the NHS should be: modern, multi-disciplinary and, most importantly, meeting targets.
Give me a doctor partridge plump,
Short in the leg and broad in the rump,
An endomorph with gentle hands,
Who'll never make absurd demands,
That I abandon all my vices,
Or pull a long face in a crisis,
But with a twinkle in his eye,
Will tell me that I have to die.
Response by Marie Campkin:
Give me a doctor underweight,
Computerised and up to date,
A businessman who understands,
Accountancy and target bands.
Who demonstrates sincere devotion
To audit and to health promotion -
But when my outlook's for the worse
Refers me to the practice nurse.